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[13.] [7] When the emperor Trajanus was in Parthia, at a distance of many days’ journey from the sea, Apicius sent him fresh oysters, which he had kept so by a clever contrivance of his own; real oysters, #  not like the sham anchovies which the cook of Nicomedes, king of the Bithynians, made in imitation of the real fish, and set before the king, when he expressed a wish for anchovies, (and he too at the time was a long way from the sea.) And in Euphron, the comic writer, a cook says:—
  A. I am a pupil of Soterides,
  Who, when his king was distant from the sea
  Full twelve days’ journey, and in winter’s depth,
  Fed him with rich anchovies to his wish,
  And made the guests to marvel.
  B. How was that?
  A. He took a female turnip, shred it fine
  Into the figure of the delicate fish;
  Then did he pour on oil and savoury salt
  With careful hand in due proportion.
  On that he strewed twelve grains of poppy seed,
  Food which the Scythians love; then boiled it all.
  And when the turnip touched the royal lips,
  Thus spake the king to the admiring guests:
  “A cook is quite as useful as a poet,
  And quite as wise, and these anchovies show it.”

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[32.] [18] And lately baths too have been introduced; things which formerly men would not have permitted to exist inside a city. And Antiphanes points out their injurious character;
  Plague take the bath! just see the plight
  In which the thing has left me;
  It seems to have boiled me up, and quite
  Of strength and nerve bereft me.
  Don’t touch me, curst was he who taught a
  Man to soak in boiling water.

And Hermippus says,
  As to mischievous habits, if you ask my vote,
  I say there are two common kinds of self-slaughter,
  One, constantly pouring strong wine down your throat,
  The other plunging in up to your throat in hot water.

But now the refinements of cooks and perfumers have increased so much, that Alexis says that even if a man could bathe in a bath of perfume he would not be content. And all the manufactories of sweetmeats are in great vigour, and such plans are devised for intercourse between people, that some have proposed even to stuff the sofas and chairs with sponge, as on the idea that that will make the occupiers more amorous. And Theophrastus says that some contrivances are of wondrous efficacy in such matters; and Phylarchus confirms him [ Fr_35 ], by reference to some of the presents which Sandrocottus, the king of the Indians, sent to Seleucus; which were to act like charms in producing a wonderful degree of affection, while some, on the contrary, were to banish love. Music, too, has been cultivated now, in a way which is a great perversion of its legitimate use: and extravagance has descended even to our clothes and shoes.

[33.] But Homerus, though he was well acquainted with the nature of perfume, has never introduced any of his heroes as perfumed except Paris; when he says [ Il_3'392 ], “glittering with beauty,” as in another place he says [ Od_18'192 ] that Aphrodite —
  With every beauty every feature arms,
  Bids her cheeks glow, and lights up all her charms.

Nor does he ever represent them as wearing crowns, although by some of his similes and metaphors he shows that he knew of garlands. At all events he speaks of [ Od_10'195 ]
  That lovely isle crowned by the foaming waves,

And again he says [ Il_13'736 ] —
  For all around the crown of battle swells.

We must remark, too, that in the Odyssey he represents his characters as washing their hands before they partake of food. But in the Iliad there is no trace of such a custom. For the life described in the Odyssey is that of men living easily and luxuriously owing to the peace; on which account the men of that time indulged their bodies with baths and washings. [19] And that is the reason why in that state of things they play at dice, and dance, and play ball. But Herodotus is mistaken when he says [ 1.94 ] that those sports were invented in the time of Atys to amuse the people during the famine. For the heroic times are older than Atys. And the men living in the time of the Iliad are almost constantly crying out [ quoting from Pindarus ] —
  Raise the battle cry so clear,
  Prelude to the warlike spear.

[34.] Now to go back to what we were saying before. The Athenians made Aristonicus the Carystian, who used to play at ball with Alexander the king, a freeman of their city on account of his skill, and they erected a statue to him. And even in later times the Greeks considered all handicraft trades of much leds importance than inventions which had any reference to amusement. And the people of Histiaea, and of Oreus, erected in their theatre a brazen statue holding a die in its hand to Theodorus the juggler. And on the same principle the Milesians erected one to Archelaus the harp-player. But at Thebes there is no statue to Pindarus, though there is one to Cleon the singer, on which there is the inscription—
  Here does Cleon of Thebes, Pytheas’ tuneful son,
  While living oft with victory’s garlands crowned,
  Sweet linger, though on earth his race is run,
  Even the high heavens with his name resound.

Polemon relates that when Alexander razed Thebes to the ground, one man who escaped hid some gold in the garments of this statue, as they were hollow; #  and then when the city was restored he returned and recovered his money after a lapse of thirty years. But Herodotus, the reciter of mimes, and Archelaus the dancer, according to Hegesander, were more honoured by Antiochus the king than any others of his friends. And Antiochus his father made the sons of Sostratus the flute-player his body-guards.

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[51.] [28] The Persian king used to drink no other wine but that called the Chalybonian, which Poseidonius says is made in Damascus of Syria, from vines which were planted there by the Persians; and at Issa, which is an island in the Adriatic, Agatharchides says that wine is made which is superior to every other wine whatever. The Chian and Thasian wines are mentioned by Epilycus, who says that "the Chian and the Thasian wine must be strained." And Antidotus says,-
  For all the ills that men endure,
  Thasian is a certain cure;
  For any head or stomach ache,
  Thasian wine I always take,
  A present, as I can't help feeling,
  From Asclepius, the God of healing.

Clearchus speaks of,-
  Lesbian wine,
  Which Maron himself appears to me to have been the maker of.

And Alexis says,-
  All wise men think
  The Lesbian is the nicest wine to drink.

And again he says-
  His whole thoughts every day incline
  To drink what rich and rosy wine
  From Thasos and from Lesbos comes,
  And dainty cakes and sugarplums.

And again-
  Hail, O Bromius, ever dear,
  Who from Lesbos brings to here
  Without charge the rosy wine;
  He who would give one glass away,
  Too vile on cheerful earth to stay,
  Shall be no friend of mine.

And Ephippus says-
  Oh how luscious, oh how fine
  Is the Pramnian Lesbian wine!
  All who are brave, and all who are wise,
  Much the wine of Lesbos prize.

And Antiphanes-
  There is good meat, and plenteous dainty cheer;
  And Thasian wine, perfumes, and garlands here;
  Aphrodite loves comfort; where folks are poor,
  The merry goddess ever shuns their door.

And Eubulus-
  In Thasian wine or Chian soak your throttle,
  Or take of Lesbian an old cobwebbed bottle.

He speaks too of Psithian wine-
  He gave me Psithian nectar, rich and neat,
  To cool my thirst, and beat me on the chest.

And Anaxandrides mentions "a jar full of Psithian wine".

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