These letters were sent in April and May 49 B.C.
The translation is by E.O. Winstedt (1921). Click on the L symbols to go to the Latin text of each section. Click on ** to go to the translator's footnotes.
CONTENTS: 1 2 3 3a 4 5 6 7 8 8a 8b 9 9a 10 11 12 12a 13 14 15 16 17 18
← Book 9
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
On the third of April coming to my brother's house at Laterium, I got your letter with some little relief, a thing which had not happened to me since this disaster began. For I attach very great weight to your approval of my firmness of mind and my action. As for your writing that it meets with the approval of my friend Sextus, I am as glad as if I fancied myself to have won the approval of his father, on whose judgement I always set the very highest value. I often call to mind how it was he who said to me on that famous December the 5th, when I asked him what we were to do next: "Let me not die a coward and shameful death, but greatly daring live in fame for aye." ** So his influence lives for me, and his son, who is very like him, has the same weight as he. Please give him my best compliments.
2 Your plan, it is true, you postpone for a very short time, - for I fancy by now that that venal peace-maker must have wound up his speech, and something must have been done in the session of Senators, for I don't consider it a Senate, - still you keep mine in suspense, but the less so because I have no doubt as to what you think we should do. For when you write that Flavius is offered a legion and Sicily, and that the matter is now in hand, just think what iniquities are being prepared and meditated, some now and some in the future! I shall certainly neglect the law of Solon, your countryman, and I imagine mine too soon, who provided the death penalty for anyone who should not take one side in a revolution, and, unless you advise otherwise, I shall keep apart both from Caesar and Pompey. The former course is quite certain: but I shall not forestall events. I shall await your advice and the letter which I asked you to give to Cephalio - unless you have now sent another.
3 You write, not on the authority of anyone, but as your own idea, that I shall be drawn into any negotiations there may be for peace. I cannot imagine that there can be such negotiations, since it is Caesar's positive determination to rob Pompey, if possible, of army and province, unless perhaps that hireling can induce him to keep quiet, pending the passage to and fro of intermediaries. I see nothing that I can hope for or even imagine is likely to happen. However this is the very question for an honest man to decide and one of the great questions of 'high politics', whether one may enter the council of a tyrant, if the subject of debate is good. Therefore, if anything should happen to cause me to be summoned - I don't in the least expect anything will, for I have said all I can say about peace, and Caesar was determined to repudiate it - still, if anything should happen, write and tell me what you think I should do in any case. For so far nothing has happened that demands greater deliberation.
I am glad you are pleased with the words of that good citizen Trebatius, and your frequent bravos have so far been my sole pleasure. Your letter I await eagerly. I expect it has been dispatched now. 4 With Sextus you have preserved the same dignity that you prescribe for me. Your friend Celer has more wit than wisdom. What you heard from Tullia about the boys is true. Mucius' ending, ** which you mention, does not seem to me so sad as it sounds. It is this distraction in which we now find ourselves that is like death. For I have the alternative, either to take part in politics with a free hand among the dishonourable men, or to side with the good men at all costs. I ought either to follow the good men in their rashness or attack the disreputable men in their daring. Either course spells danger: but my present action brings shame without safety.
5 The man ** who sent his son to Brundisium to negotiate peace (my views on peace are yours, that it is patent pretence, but that war is being prosecuted with the utmost activity) that man I think and not I will be chosen as commissioner. So far to my relief I have heard nothing. So I fancy it less necessary to write or consider my possible course of action, if I should happen to be chosen.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I received your letter brought by Cephalio on the 5th of April. The next day I intended to stop at Minturnae, and to return thence at once. I halted at my brother's place at Arcanum in order that I might be in a more remote place till I get certain news and that such preparations for the journey, as did not need my presence, might be made.
The "bird that twitters of flight" ** is here and I am aflame with eagerness, though I have no idea of destination or route. 2 But these will be considered by me and by those who know. You however must assist me with your advice, so far as possible, as you have before. The tangle cannot be unravelled. Everything must be entrusted to fortune. We are simply struggling without hope. If anything better happens, I shall be surprised. I would rather Dionysius did not come to me: Tullia has written to me about him. The time is unsuitable, and I should prefer that discomforts as great as mine should not be seen by a man who is not my friend. But I do not want you to be his enemy on my account.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Though I have nothing at all to write about, yet these points remain, which I want to know. Has Caesar started? In what condition has he left Rome? In Italy itself whom has he placed in charge of each region or department? Who were sent to Pompey and the consuls as peace commissioners according to the decree of the Senate? To make these inquiries I have taken the trouble to send this letter. So you will do well and please me, if you inform me on these points and of anything else which I ought to know. I stay in Arcanum till I get information.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
On the 7th of April I dictate this letter, the second on the same day, and yesterday I dispatched a longer one in my own handwriting. It is said you have been seen in the Regia, ** and I don't blame you, since I laid myself open to the same blame. But I await a letter from you. I don't see what news I can expect; but still, even if there is none, I wish you would just tell me that.
Caesar has written to excuse me for not coming to Rome, and says that he takes it in good part. I am not concerned at his saying that Titinius and Servius have complained to him for not allowing them the same privilege as he did to me. What fools they are! They send their sons to besiege Pompey, and themselves hesitate to enter the senate. However, I send you a copy of Caesar's letter.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I have received a lot of letters from you on the same day, all of them written with care and one, which is as big as a book, worth reading several times, as I am doing. Your labour has not been in vain: you have gratified me very much. And so I beseech you continue to write as often as you can, so long as it is possible, that is, so long as you know where I am. And as for our daily lamentations let us make an end of them once for all, if we can, or at any rate moderate them, which we certainly can. For I have given up thinking of the dignity, the honours and the position I have lost: I think of what I have attained, what I have done, the glory of my career, in short what a difference there is even in our present straits between me and those through whom I have lost all. They are the people who thought they could not attain their extravagant desires without expelling me from the State: and you see now what has come of their coalition in a criminal conspiracy.
2 The one burns with a madman's lust for crime, which does not cool one whit, but rather increases day by day. He has just driven Pompey from Italy, now on one side of the world he is pursuing him, on the other he is trying to rob him of his province: and he no longer refuses, nay, he practically demands, to be called a tyrant, as he is. 3 The other, who once would not even give me a helping hand, when I threw myself at his feet, declaring he could do nothing against Caesar's will, now, having slipped from the grasp of his father-in-law's mailed hand, is preparing war by land and sea. The war is not unjust on his part, nay, it is even righteous and necessary; but, unless he conquers, it will be fatal to his fellow-countrymen; and, even if he does conquer, it will be disastrous. 4 These are our great men; but I do not hold their achievements one whit superior to mine, nor even their fortune, though they may seem to have basked in fortune's smiles while I have met her frowns. For who can be happy, when he has caused his country to be deserted or enslaved? And if, as you admonish me, I was right in saying in those books of mine ** that nothing is good, save what is honourable, and nothing bad, save what is dishonourable, then certainly both of them are most miserable, since both of them have thought less of their country's safety and dignity than of their own high place and private interests. My conscience then is clear and helps to support me, when I think that I have always rendered my country good service, when I could, and assuredly have never harboured any but loyal thoughts, and that the State has been wrecked by the very storm which I foresaw fourteen years ago.
5 With a clear conscience then I shall depart, though the parting will cost me a bitter pang: nor shall I go so much for my own sake or for my brother's - our day is done - as for our children, to whom I think at times we ought to have secured at least a free country. For one of them I feel the most poignant grief - not so much because he is my son, as because he is exceedingly dutiful - while the other unfortunately has turned out the bitterest disappointment of my life. He has been spoiled, I suppose, by our indulgence, and has gone to lengths that I dare not name. I am waiting for your letter too; for you promised to write more fully when you had seen him himself. 6 All my humouring of him has been accompanied by considerable strictness: and I have had to put my foot down not over one fault of his or a small one, but over many grave faults. But his father's kindness should surely have been repaid by affection rather than by such cruel disregard. For we were more annoyed at his sending letters to Caesar than we let you see, but I think we made his life a burden to him. I dare not describe this recent journey of his and his hypocritical pretence of filial duty: ** I only know that, after he met Hirtius, he was summoned to Caesar's presence, and discussed the difference between my views and his own and my plan of leaving Italy. Even that I write with hesitation. But it is no fault of mine: it is his disposition which must cause us anxiety. That is what corrupted Curio and Hortensius' son, not their fathers' fault.
My brother is prostrate with grief, though he does not fear for his own life so much as for mine. It is to him, to him more than me, I want you to offer consolation, if you can. The best consolation would be that what we have heard was false or exaggerated. If it was true, I fail to see what will come of this runaway existence. For if the constitution were still intact, I should know what to do both in the way of severity and in the way of kindness. Now, under the sway of some passion, be it wrath or sorrow or fear, I have written more bitterly than either your affection for him or mine warrants. If what I have said is true, you will pardon me: if it is false, I shall be only too glad to have the error removed. However it may be, you must not blame his uncle or his father.
7 When I had got so far, I received a message from Curio that he was coming to see me. He came to his place here yesterday evening, that is on the 13th. If any point worth mentioning to you occurs in our conversation, I will add it to this letter.
8 Curio passed by my house, and sent a message saying he was coming very soon. Then he hurried off to make a speech at Puteoli. He made his speech, returned and stayed a very long time. How disgusting! You know the sort of man he is: he hid nothing. In the first place he is quite sure that all those condemned by Pompey's law are going to be recalled: and so he is going to make use of their services in Sicily. He had no doubt about Caesar getting the two Spains and said he would start from them with an army to wherever Pompey might be. Pompey's death would be the end of the war. Caesar had been carried away by anger into wishing to have the tribune Metellus killed ** and he had had a narrow shave. If it had happened, there would have been an enormous massacre. Many had spoken in favour of a massacre: and Caesar himself was not by nature and inclination averse to cruelty, but he thought that mild measures would win popularity. But, if he lost popular favour, he would be cruel. He had been put out when he found that he had offended the populace itself by seizing the treasury: and so, though he had fully made up his mind to harangue the people before leaving, he had not ventured to do so, and he had gone off in a very disturbed state of mind. 9 But when I asked Curio what he looked forward to, what end, and what constitution, he confessed openly that there was no hope left. He was afraid of Pompey's fleet, and, if it put to sea, he should desert Sicily. I asked, what was the meaning of his six lictors, ** why their rods were adorned with laurel, if the Senate gave them to him, and why there were six, if Caesar gave them. He said, "I wanted to snatch a vote from the senate for them (for it could not be done openly): but Caesar hates the Senate like poison, and declares that all such authority will proceed from him." "But why six?" "Because I didn't want twelve, though I could have had them." 10 I said: "I wish I had asked for what I hear Philippus has got from him: but I was afraid to ask, as he got nothing from me." He replied: "He would willingly have given you permission. But take it that you did get it. I will write to him just as you wish, and say we have spoken about the matter. What does it matter to him where you are, as you do not attend the senate? If you were not in Italy at this very moment, it would not damage his cause in the least." I responded that I was looking for a retired and solitary retreat, especially because I still had my lictors in attendance. He agreed with me. "How about this then," said I. "My way through to Greece lies through your province, as the Adriatic is guarded." "There is nothing I should like better," he said, and added many very handsome remarks. So something has come of it: I could sail not only in safety, but openly.
11 The rest he put off for the next day: I will write and tell you if there is anything worth mentioning. But there are some things I omitted to ask: whether Caesar was going to wait for an interregnum, or what he meant by saying that he had been offered the consulship but had refused it for the next year. And there are other points I must ask about. Finally he swore - though to be sure he makes no bones about swearing - that Caesar was very friendly to me. I expressed my doubt. He said he had heard from Dolabella. I asked what he said, and he declared he said Caesar had thanked him warmly for wanting me to go to Rome, and not only approved but showed pleasure. Of course I felt relieved.
The suspicion of domestic treachery and of the talk with Hirtius has been removed. How I hope young Quintus is worthy of his family, and how I keep urging myself to note the points in his favour! But need he have visited Hirtius? There is something in the tale, but I hope it may not prove of much consequence. Still I wonder he is not back yet. But we shall see about this.
12 Please introduce Terentia to the Oppii: ** for there is only one danger in Rome now. As for me, give me the benefit of your advice as to whether I am to go to Regium on foot or to embark straight from here, and on all the other points too, as I am staying here. I shall have something to write as soon as I have seen Curio. Please keep me posted up in news about Tiro's condition, as you have done.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
About the whole of my plans I have written to you before, as I think, exactly. Of the day I can say no more for certain than this, that it will not be before the new moon. 2 Curio's conversation on the next day had practically the same gist, except that he showed still more frankly that he could not see an end to this state of things.
As for your commission about the control of Quintus, you are asking for the moon. ** However I shall be guilty of no omission and would that you - . But I will not be too troublesome. The letter I forwarded at once to Vestorius; he kept asking why it was not sent. 3 Vettienus has spoken with you in a tone more accommodating than his letter to me: but I am greatly astonished at the man's carelessness. Philotimus informed me that he could buy that lodge of Canuleius for 50,000 sestertii, and could get it even for less, if I asked Vettienus to act as purchaser. So I did ask Vettienus to get a deduction from that sum, if he could. He promised. Lately he has informed me that he bought it for about 30,000 sestertii, and asked me to inform him to whom I wished to convey it, adding that the day for payment was the 13th of November. My reply was somewhat cross, but yet in a familiar joking vein. Now, as he is acting handsomely, I have no charge against him, and I have written to him that you have informed me. Please let me know about your journey, what you intend to do and when.
April 16.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
So far nothing stops me beyond the weather. I am not going to play a clever game. Let what will happen in Spain, I have made up my mind to go. My plans have all been unfolded to you in previous letters; so this is a short one; also because I am in a hurry and rather busy.
2 As for young Quintus "surely I do my best," ** you know the rest. You go on to advise me, and you advise me like a prudent friend; but all will be simple, if I beware of the youngster. It is a big business; he is full of oddities and has no simplicity or sincerity. I wish you had undertaken his training; for his father is too kind. If I tighten the rein, he loosens it. If I could act without his father, I could manage the youngster, as you can do. But I excuse you. It is, as I say, a big business.
3 Pompey, I am certain, is marching through Illyricum into Gaul. By what route and whither I am now to travel, I shall see.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Yes, I think you are right to hedge, and stay in Apulia and Sipontum: nor do I consider that your case is the same as mine. Of course in the matter of the constitution the right course is the same for both of us: but the constitution is not now in question. It is a struggle between two kings, in which defeat has overtaken the more moderate king, the one who is more upright and honest, the one whose failure means that the very name of the Roman people must be wiped out, though, if he wins the victory, he will use it after the manner and example of Sulla. Therefore in a contest like this you must not openly express your sentiments for either side, but must await the event. My case however is different. I am under the bond of an obligation, and cannot show ingratitude. But yet I do not fancy that I shall be found in the line of battle, but at Malta or some other similar place. You may say I do not help them unto whom I am loth to show ingratitude. No. Perhaps he would have been glad if I had helped him less. But that we shall see. Let me only get away. A fair opportunity is offered now that Dolabella is in the Adriatic and Curio in the straits of Sicily.
2 I have conceived some hope that Servius Sulpicius wishes to see me. I have dispatched Philotimus, my freedman, to him with a letter. If he wishes to play the man, we shall have a fine time together. But if not, well, I shall be my own old self. 3 Curio stayed with me. He thinks that Caesar is falling in popular esteem and he is mistrustful about going to Sicily, if Pompey should begin a naval action.
The boy Quintus got it hot when he came. I see it was greed and the hope of a large bounty. This is a great evil; but disloyalty, which I feared, there was I hope none. But this flaw, I fancy you will gather, did not proceed from my spoiling him, but from his own temperament. Still, I must teach him discipline.
As to the Oppii of Velia, you will arrange with Philotimus as you think fit. Your place in Epirus I shall regard as my own; but it seems I shall go on another tack.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Circumstances advise, you have pointed out, and I see for myself, that it is time there was an end to our correspondence on topics which it is dangerous to have intercepted: but since my daughter often writes beseeching me to await the issue in Spain and always adds that you think the same, and this is what I have gathered myself from your letters, I think it is well for me to write to you what I think about it.
2 The advice would be wise, it seems to me, only if I meant to shape my course according to what happens in Spain. That is impossible. For either, as I should much prefer, Caesar must be driven from Spain, or the war will drag on, or Caesar will seize Spain, as he seems to be confident. If Caesar is driven from Spain, you can imagine how pleasing and honourable my arrival will seem to Pompey, when I suppose even Curio will go over to him. If the war drags on, for what am I to wait or how long? The remaining alternative is that I should keep neutral, if we are beaten in Spain. I take the opposite view: for I think I am more bound to desert Caesar as victor than as vanquished, and while he is still doubtful rather than confident about his fortunes: for I foresee a massacre, if he conquers, attack on the wealth of private persons, the recall of exiles, repudiation of debts, high office for the vilest men, and a tyranny intolerable to a Persian much more to a Roman. 3 Will my indignation be able to keep silence? Can my eyes endure to see myself giving my vote along with Gabinius, or indeed Gabinius being asked his opinion before me? Your client Clodius in waiting? Plaguleius, the client of C. Ateius, and all the others? But why do I make a list of opponents, when I shall be unable to see in the senate without pain friends whom I have defended or to mix with them without shame? And what if even that may not be allowed to me, for all I know? For Caesar's friends write me that he is not at all satisfied because I did not come to the Senate. Am I still to hesitate whether to sell myself to him at grave risk, when I refused to join him even with a certainty of reward? 4 Besides consider this, that the verdict on the whole contest does not depend on Spain; unless perhaps you think that, if Spain is lost, Pompey will throw down his arms, when his policy has always been that of Themistocles. He considers that the master of the sea must be master of the empire: so he has never planned to hold Spain for its own sake. The equipment of the fleet has always been his first care. So he will take to the sea in due season with a huge fleet and will come to Italy. What then will be the fate of us, if we stay here idle? Neutrality will be impossible. Shall we then resist the fleet? Could there be a crime deeper, greater or baser? Isolated I ran risks: shall I hesitate with the help of Pompey and the rest of the nobles. 5 If now I am to take no account of duty but only of danger, it is from Pompey's party I run risk, if I do wrong, from Caesar, if I do right: and such is our evil plight that no plan is so free from danger as to leave a doubt that I should avoid doing with disgrace as well as danger what I should have avoided, if it had been safe. You will say I might safely have crossed the sea with Pompey. It was altogether impossible. It is easy to reckon the days: but nevertheless (for let me confess the truth: I do not even sugar my confession) supposing I could, I was mistaken over a point which perhaps ought not to have misled me; but it did. I thought that peace might be made: and, if it should be, I did not wish Caesar to be angry with me, when at the same time he was friendly with Pompey. For I had realised how exactly they were alike. That fear of mine led me to delay. But I gain all now by haste, and, if I delay, I lose all. 6 Nevertheless, my friend, there are auguries which urge me on, with hope not uncertain: I do not mean those of my own college which came down from Attus Navius: but Plato's words about the tyrant. ** For I see that Caesar can in no way maintain his position much longer, without causing his own fall, even if we are backward. For in his first and flourishing days it did not take him a week to incur the bitter hatred of the needy abandoned rabble, by letting slip through his fingers so quickly his fictitious claim to two things, clemency in the case of Metellus and ample wealth in the case of the public money. Now what kind of associates and servants can he employ? Are men to rule provinces and direct affairs not one of whom could steer his own fortunes for two months?
7 I need not put all the points together; you see them clearly enough: but put them before your eyes and you will understand that his reign can hardly last for half a year. If I am mistaken, I will bear the consequences, as many illustrious men, eminent in public life, have borne them, unless perhaps you consider that I should prefer to die like Sardanapalus [in his bed] rather than like Themistocles in exile. For Thucydides tells us that though Themistocles was "the best judge of current affairs on the shortest reflection, and the shrewdest to guess at what would happen in the future," yet he fell into misfortunes, which he would have escaped, had there been no error in his calculations. Though he was, as the same writer says, "a clear-sighted judge of the better and the worse course in a doubtful crisis," ** yet he failed to see how to avoid the hate of the Spartans and his own fellow-citizens, nor what promise he ought to make to Artaxerxes. Africanus would have been spared that cruel night, ** and that master of craft C. Marius the fateful day of Sulla's triumph, if nothing had ever escaped their calculations. So I strengthen myself by that prophetic remark of Plato: I am not deceived nor will it happen otherwise. 8 Caesar is bound to fall either through the agency of his enemies or of himself, and he is his own worst enemy. I hope it will be in our lifetime, though it is an occasion for us to consider the lasting future and not our own narrow life. If anything happens to me before that day, it will not have mattered to me much whether I see it come about or foresee that it will happen long before. Since this is so, I must not obey men against whom the Senate armed me with power to see that the Republic took no harm. **
9 To you all my interests have been entrusted, though they need no entrusting considering your great affection for me. I have nothing to write, for I sit waiting to sail. Yet I never wanted so much to write anything, as I want to tell you that of your many kindnesses none has given me greater pleasure than your very gracious and constant care of Tullia. She herself has been charmed and I not less. She has shown admirable qualities, has borne the national calamity and private worries with great fortitude and displayed it over my departure. She loves me and sympathises with me and yet wishes me to act rightly and keep my good repute. 10 But enough of this, lest I begin to pity myself.
If you get more certain tidings about Spain or any other matter, pray write and tell me while I am here, and perhaps at the time of going I may send you news, the more so because Tullia fancies that you are not leaving Italy at the present moment. I must explain to Antony as I did to Curio that I want to stay in Malta and refuse to take part in this civil war. I only hope that I may find him as easy and good to me as I found Curio. He will come it is said to Misenum on the second, that is to- day; but he has sent in advance a nasty letter of which I subjoin a copy:
ANTONIUS TRIBUNE PROPRAETOR GREETING TO CICERO IMPERATOR.
Had I not a great affection for you, and much more than you think, I should not have been alarmed at a report which has been spread about you, especially as I thought it to be false. But, just because I like you so very much, I cannot hide from myself that the report, although it may be false, causes me great concern. That you are about to go overseas I cannot believe, when you have such dear regard for Dolabella and your daughter Tullia, that queen among women, and you are rated so highly by all of us, who, I dare swear, care almost more than you do for your dignity and position. However, I considered that it was no part of a friend to be unmoved even when scoundrels talked, and I have been more particular, because I thought that a harder task was laid upon me by our disagreement, which sprang more from jealousy on my part than from wrong on yours; for I want you to convince yourself that no one is dearer to me than you, except Caesar, and at the same time I am positive that Caesar reckons M. Cicero highly among his friends. 2 So my dear Cicero I beg you not to commit yourself and not to rely on the honour of a man, who for the sake of conferring a kindness first did you a harm, and on the other hand not to flee from a man, who although he will not love you, which is out of the question, will always wish you to be safe and in high distinction. I have taken the trouble to send you Calpurnius, an intimate friend of mine, that you may know I am greatly concerned for your life and position.
On the same day Philotimus brought me a letter from Caesar of which this is a copy:
CAESAR IMPERATOR TO CICERO IMPERATOR, GREETING.
Although I had concluded that you would do nothing rashly or imprudently, nevertheless I have been so stirred by what people say that I thought it best to write to you and ask you in the name of our goodwill to each other not to go anywhere, now that fortune inclines my way, where you did not think it necessary to go before anything was certain. For you will have done a serious injury to our friendship and consulted your own interest very little, if you show that you are not following fortune (for everything that has happened seems most favourable to me and most unfavourable to Pompey), nor yet following the right cause (for the cause was the same then, when you thought fit to hold aloof from it), but that you have condemned some act of mine, the greatest harm you could do me. Do not take such a step, I pray you by the right of our friendship. 2 Finally what better befits a good and peaceful man and a loyal citizen than to keep out of civil disturbance. There are some who approved such a course, but could not follow it because of the danger. But you may examine the evidence of my life and the opinion given by my friendship; ** you will find no safer or more honourable course than to keep quite clear of the quarrel. April 16 on the march."
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
The arrival of Philotimus (what a fellow he is! how stupid! how often he lies on Pompey's behalf!) has frightened the rest of us to death. For myself I am hardened. None of us doubted that Caesar had checked Pompey's progress: Philotimus says he is simply flying. Nobody doubted that Petreius had joined Afranius: he brings no such news. In fact we have all been sure that Pompey had actually made his way with large forces into Germany through Illyricum, for that was the news sans doute. So I think I must make for Malta, until there is news from Spain. This from Caesar's letter I almost think I may do without annoying him, for he says there is no more honourable or safe course open to me than to keep quite clear of the fight. 2 You will say "Where then is your courage which you showed in recent letters?" It is there and the same; but would that I had only to decide for myself. The tears of my family at times weaken me, when they beg me to wait for news about Spain. The miserable tone of M. Caelius' letter making this same request that I should wait, not to risk so rashly my fortunes, my only son and all my family, moved our boys to weeping; although my own son is made of stronger stuff, and for that very reason he affects me more deeply, thinking only of my reputation.
3 So I shall go to Malta, thence where it seems good. Still even now send me a line, especially if there is any news from Afranius. If I have an interview with Antony, I will inform you of the result. However, as you advise, I will take care how I trust him, for the policy of concealment is hard and dangerous too. Servius Sulpicius I await till the 7th. Both his wife Postumia and his son urge me to this. I rejoice that your ague is better. I send you also a copy of Caelius' letter.
CAELIUS TO CICERO, GREETING.
In my dismay at your letter, in which you show that your thoughts are set on some unhappy act without saying exactly what it is, though you disclose sufficiently what kind of an act it is, I write this on the spot. In the name of your fortunes and your children, I beg and beseech you, Cicero, not to take any step that may endanger your life and safety. For I call gods and men and our friendship to witness that I told you before, and that it was no casual warning that I gave you, but certain information, after I had met Caesar and found out what his view would be, if he won the victory. If you imagine that he will maintain his present policy of letting his adversaries go and making peace, you are mistaken; he is meditating and even proclaiming nothing but cruelty and severity. He left Rome in anger with the Senate: these recent vetoes have clearly provoked him: you may take my word for it there will be no chance of begging off. 2 Then, if you have any care for yourself, your only son, your house and what hopes you have left, if I and your excellent son-in-law have any influence with you - and you ought not to wish to spoil our fortunes - then do not compel us to hate or relinquish a cause, in whose victory our safety lies, or to harbour unnatural wishes for your destruction. Finally consider this: any offence there may have been in your hesitation, you have already given. Now it is the height of folly to side against Caesar in his hour of victory, when you refused to attack him while his fortunes were doubtful; and to join in the flight of those, whom you would not follow when they stood their ground. Beware lest for fear of showing too little zeal for the "better party," you use too little care in choosing the better course. 3 But, if I cannot persuade you entirely, at least wait till it is known how we get on in Spain, which I assure you will be ours as soon as Caesar arrives. What your friends' hopes are, when they have lost Spain, is more than I know; and what your idea is in joining them, when they have no hopes, is more than I can imagine.
4 What you hinted at without speaking plainly, Caesar had heard, and as soon as ever he had said "good day," he told me what he had heard about you. I said I knew nothing about it: but I asked him to send you a letter as the best means of inducing you to stay. He is taking me with him to Spain. If he were not, I should have hurried to you, before going to Rome, wherever you might have been, and should have pressed this view on you personally and done all in my power to restrain you. 5 Once more and yet once more, Cicero, think before you utterly destroy yourself and all your family: do not wittingly and with your eyes open put yourself in a position from which you see there is no escape. But, if you are moved by the call of the conservative party, or if you cannot endure the insolence and arrogant behaviour of certain persons, I think you should choose some town remote from the war, until the matter is settled: and settled it will be at once. If you do that, I shall consider you have acted wisely, and Caesar will not be offended.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
How blind I am not to have foreseen it! I send you Antony's letter. I have often written to him that I planned nothing against Caesar's policy, that I was mindful of my son-in-law, of our friendship, that, if I had thought otherwise, I could have been with Pompey, that I wished to leave Italy because I was loth to wander about with my lictors, though I had not made up my mind definitely even to that. See in what an ex cathedra tone he answers me: - 2 "Your policy is quite right. For a man who wishes to be neutral remains in his country; the man who leaves his country seems to express his conviction on one side or the other; but it is not for me to determine, whether anyone has the right to leave or not. The part Caesar has given me is not to let anyone at all leave Italy; so it is of little use for me to approve your plan, if all the same I cannot make an exception for you. I think you should send to Caesar and ask him this favour. I have no doubt that you will succeed, especially as you promise not to forget our friendship."
3 That is a laconic epistle. ** I will certainly take my cue from the man. He is to come on the evening of the 3rd, that is to-day. To-morrow therefore he will perhaps come to me. I will sound him: I will hear him: say I am in no hurry: that I will send to Caesar. I will act secretly, with a very few attendants I will lie hidden somewhere; but assuredly, however unwilling these people are, I will fly off; and would that it may be to Curio! "Mark what I say." ** Another great grief has come upon me. I will do something worthy of my reputation.
4 Your malady gives me grave anxiety. I pray you get medical advice in its initial stage. Your letter about the Massilians ** pleased me. Let me know whatever you hear. I should have liked to have Ocella, if it could be done openly, and I had got Curio to allow it. Here I am awaiting Servius Sulpicius, for it is at the request of his wife and son, and I think it is necessary.
5 Antony carries about Cytheris with him in an open litter as his second wife, and besides he had seven other litters of friends male or female. See what a disgraceful death we die, and doubt, if you can, that, whether Caesar returns victor or vanquished, he will perpetrate a massacre. Even in an open boat, if I cannot get a vessel, I will tear myself away from these parricides and their doings. But I will write more when I have met him.
6 My nephew I cannot but love, though I see clearly that he has no affection for me. I never saw anyone so unprincipled, so averse to his own relations, with such mysterious plans. What a weight of anxiety! But it will be my business, as it is now, to discipline him: he has wonderful ability, but his character requires training.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
After sealing my former letter, I did not feel inclined to hand it to the person that I had intended, as he was a stranger; so it was not despatched on that day. Meantime Philotimus came and gave me a letter from you. The conduct of my brother about which you write shows little firmness, but no chicanery, no treachery, nothing inflexibly opposed to goodness, nothing that cannot be turned where you will by a single conversation. In short all his relations, even those with whom he is so often angry, are nevertheless dear to him, and I to be sure am dearer than life. I do not blame him for writing in one strain about his boy to you and in another to the boy's mother. I am distressed by what you say about the journey and your sister, and the more so because the times are such that I cannot remedy the matter. For certainly I would have done so: but you see in what trouble I am, what desperation.
2 As for his financial affairs, I often hear from him, and they are not in such a state as to prevent him from being anxious to pay you and from making efforts to that end: but if Q. Axius does not pay me in this my flight the 13,000 sestertii I lent his son, and pleads in excuse the state of the times, and if Lepta and others do the same, I confess I am always surprised to hear from Quintus that he is pressed for some 20,000 sestertii. For of course you see his straits. However he has ordered the sum to be paid to your account. Perhaps you suppose that he is slow or close-fisted in money matters. 3 No one is less so: but enough about my brother.
As for his son, the father has certainly always indulged him; but indulgence does not make him a liar or a miser or disloyal to his friends, though it does perhaps make him surly, haughty and aggressive. Accordingly he has these defects which are due to spoiling; but they are not intolerable, shall I say, as young men go nowadays. But the defects which, to me at any rate who love him, are more distressing than even the evils on which we have fallen, do not proceed from any indulgence of mine; for they are deep rooted: but I would have rooted them up, had I been allowed. But the times are such that I must bear everything. My own son I control easily. He is quite tractable. My own policy has lacked vigour owing to my pity for him; and the more he wants me to be unflinching, the more I fear I may prove cruel to him.
4 Well Antony came yesterday evening; soon perhaps he will visit me, perhaps not even that, as he has written what he wanted done; but you shall know forthwith what has happened. All I do now is done secretly.
What shall I do about the boys? Shall I entrust them to a small boat? What courage do you suppose I shall have on the voyage? For I remember sailing in the summer in an open Rhodian boat with them and how anxious I was; and how do you suppose it will be in the bad season in a tiny pinnace? Misery everywhere!
Trebatius is with me, a real man and a loyal citizen. Ye gods, what awful news he brings! So even Balbus is thinking of attending the Senate! But I will give Trebatius himself a letter for you to-morrow. 5 I agree with your letter that Vettienus is friendly to me. But I made a rather bitter jest at his expense, because he wrote curtly to me about paying my debt. Appease him, if he took it in bad part. I addressed him by his title "commissioner of the mint" because he addressed me as "proconsul." But since he is a good man and has affection for me, let me keep my affection for him. Farewell.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
What is to happen to me? Who is there more ill-starred, or even more humiliated? Antony says he has received orders about me definitely. Yet I have not seen him myself so far; but he told Trebatius. What can I do now? Nothing succeeds and all my best laid plans fail abominably. For, when I had won over Curio, I imagined I had attained my end. He had written about me to Hortensius. Reginus was wholly my friend. I never suspected that Antony had anything to do with this part of the sea. Whither can I turn now? Everywhere I am watched. 2 But enough of lamentation. I must steal away and creep privily into some cargo boat; I must not allow it to appear that I connive at being hindered. I must go to Sicily. If I once get there, I shall have greater ends in view. If only all goes well in Spain! However, I do hope the news about Sicily may prove true! Hitherto I have had no luck. It is said the Sicilians have gathered round Cato, prayed him to resist and promised every support: and that he has been induced to begin making a levy. I don't believe it, good as the authority is. I know for a fact that that province could have been held. But we shall soon hear from Spain.
3 Here I have C. Marcellus, who holds the same views as myself or makes a good pretence of doing so. I have not indeed met him myself; but I hear it from one of his most intimate friends. Write to me, if you have any news. If I attempt anything, I shall inform you at once. Young Quintus I shall handle with severity. I hope my efforts may succeed. But please some time tear up the letters in which I criticise him severely, for fear anything ever come to light. I will tear up yours. Servius Sulpicius I am still awaiting, nor do I hear anything satisfactory from him. You shall know whatever happens.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Undoubtedly I must admit I have been mistaken. But is it once only or on one topic? No, in everything. The more carefully I have thought, the less wisely have I done. "Let bygones be bygones." ** In the future only let us not invite disaster. You bid me provide for my journey. What can I provide? All the possible accidents are so obvious, that, if I would shun them, I must sit still in shame and grief: and, if I disregard them, it is odds that I fall into the hands of villains. But see how miserable I am. Sometimes it seems preferable that I should receive some damage however bitter from Caesar's party, that people may see I am hated by the tyrant. 2 But, if the voyage for which I hoped were open to me, certainly, as you wish and advise, I should have done something to justify delay. But I am watched with extraordinary care and even Curio is suspect. So I must make a bold move or use craft. If a bold move, I need good weather: but, if craft, should there be any faux pas, you see how disgraced I should be. I am carried away by circumstances and must not be afraid of a bold course.
3 I often reflect about Caelius; and if I have such an opportunity, I will not let it go. I hope Spain is safe. The action of the Massilians is praiseworthy in itself, and is a proof to me that things are going well in Spain. They would have been less bold, if it were otherwise, and they should know, for they live near and are watchful. You are right to remark the expression of popular feeling in the theatre. Even the legions which Caesar got in Italy seem to me to be very disloyal to him. However he is his own worst enemy. You are right to fear that he may run amok. Assuredly he will, if he loses hope. That is all the more inducement for me to do something in the spirit of Caelius, and I hope with better luck. But everything in due course; and, whatever it be, I will inform you forthwith. 4 I will do all for young Quintus that is necessary, and will undertake the task not only of Arcadia but of the whole Peloponnese. ** He is able, if only he had character. However, if he has none so far, he may get it, or virtue is not teachable, and that I can never believe.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
Your letter was very pleasing to my daughter and of course to me, for your correspondence brings a gleam of hope. So please write, and, if you can be hopeful, don't fail to be so. Don't be too much afraid of Antony's lions. ** He is a jovial fellow. Just hear how he plays the statesman. He summoned by letter ten leading men and the board of four from the municipal towns. They came to his country house in the morning. First he slept till nine. Then, when he heard the men had come from Naples and Cumae (for Caesar is angry with them), he bade them return on the next day, saying that he wished to take a bath and a laxative. This he did yesterday. But to-day he has arranged to cross to Aenaria. He is promising the exiles ** that they shall return.
But let us pass over this and talk about ourselves. 2 I got a letter from Q. Axius. As for Tiro, thanks. I like Vettienus. I have repaid Vestorius. Servius is said to have stopped at Menturnae on the 6th of May. To-day he will stop with C. Marcellus in his villa at Liternum. To-morrow early he will see me, and will give me a subject for a letter to you. Just now I can find nothing to write. I am much astonished that Antony has not even sent a messenger to me, especially when he has paid me much attention. I suppose he has some more truculent order about me. He does not wish to refuse me to my face, but I was not going to ask the favour, nor, if I had got it, should I have believed him. However I will think out some plan. 3 Let me know if anything has happened in Spain; for now there is time for news to have come, and everybody awaits it with the idea, that, if all go well there, there will be no more trouble. But I do not think the business is over, if Spain be kept, nor yet hopeless, if it be lost. Silius and Ocella and the rest I suppose are detained. I see that you too are hindered by Curtius, though I think you have a passport.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
What a wretched life this is! and to be so long afraid is more wretched than the very thing one fears! Servius, as I told you before, came on the 7th of May and on the next morning visited me. Not to detain you longer, we could not see our way to a plan. Never have I seen a man more upset with fear; and upon my soul he feared nothing that did not deserve to be feared. He pointed out that Pompey was angry with him, that Caesar was not friendly, that the victory of either would be terrible, both because Pompey was cruel and Caesar daring, and because of their money difficulties, which could only be got rid of by an attack on private property. He bewailed all this with such a flood of tears, that I was surprised they had not dried up in all that long time of misery. My own eyes do not shed one single tear, though this inflammation prevents me from writing to you; but it is often tiresome by keeping me awake. 2 So please collect all the consolation you can and send it to me - not from philosophy or books - I have plenty of that, but I find somehow that the cure is too weak for the disease. Search rather for any news about Spain or Massilia. What Servius says about them is quite satisfactory, and he also tells me there is excellent authority for the story of the two legions. News of this kind then send me, if you get it, and such like topics. Anyhow in a few days something must be heard.
3 But to return to Servius. We deferred all our conversation to the next day: but he is reluctant to leave Italy, declaring he would much rather die in his bed whatever happens. He has awkward concerns about his son's military service at Brundisium. On one point he is quite firm, that, if the condemned are restored, he will go into exile. I for my part replied "that will certainly happen, and what is happening is equally disagreeable," and I quoted many examples. My examples however did not increase his courage but his fear: so that it appears I must rather conceal from him my design than invite him to share it. He is not to be depended on. By your advice I will consider about Caelius.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
While Servius was with me, Cephalio came with your letter of the 10th, which gave me great hope of better news about the eight cohorts. For even the cohorts which are here are said to be wavering. On the same day Funisulanus brought me a letter from you, corroborating the same news. I gave him a full reply about his business, explaining all your kindness. Hitherto he has not been satisfactory; and he owes me a large sum and is not considered safe. Now he says that he will settle; but that a debtor of his was slow in paying, and that you are to pay the money by your letter-carriers, if that debtor has deposited it with you. The amount Philotimus' man Eros will tell you. 2 But to return to more important matters.
That Caelian plan you favour is coming to a head: so I am worried whether to await a favourable wind. It is a standard we want, and men will flock to it. With your advice, that I should set sail openly, I entirely agree: and so I think I will set out. However I await a letter from you meanwhile. Servius' advice has not been helpful. All sorts of bars meet us in every opinion he expresses. Only one man, C. Marcellus, have I known to be more timid, and he is sorry he was ever a consul. What a lowborn spirit! He is said even to have strengthened Antony's resolution to prevent my departure: so that his own conduct I suppose may appear more honourable. 3 Antony started for Capua on the 10th, sending word that shame prevented his visiting me, because he thought I was annoyed with him. So I shall go, and openly as you advise, unless hope of playing a more important part shall offer. But that can scarcely occur so soon. Allienus the praetor thought one of his colleagues would be chosen, ** if I were not. Let it be anyone they like so long as it is some one.
4 As to your sister, I approve. As for young Quintus, I am doing my best, and I hope things are better. As for my brother Quintus, you must know that he is taking extraordinary pains to borrow money to settle his debt; but so far has squeezed nothing out of L. Egnatius. Axius is modest about the 12,000 sestertii: for he often requested in his letters that I should pay Gallius ** as much as he wanted. Even if he had not written, could I have helped it? I have often promised indeed; but he wanted so much at once. They should have helped me rather in my difficulties, confound them. But I will write of this another time. I am glad you are rid of your ague, and Pilia too. While bread and provisions are being put on board, I am going off to my estate at Pompeii. Please thank Vettienus for his trouble. If you can find a messenger, give me a letter before I leave.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
I had just sent a letter to you about a number of matters, when very early in the morning Dionysius came to my house. I should not only have been civil to him, I should have pardoned him altogether, if he had come in the spirit you described. For the letter I got at Arpinum said that he was coming and would do whatever I wanted; and I wanted or rather longed that he should be with me. It was because he had flatly refused to do so, when he came to my villa at Formiae, I used to write to you about him rather bitterly. However, after the first greeting, he said, to put it shortly, that I must excuse him and that business prevented his going with me. I said little in reply, but I was greatly hurt, for I understood that he looked down on my fortunes. You may be astonished, but you must know that this is one of the greatest sorrows I have suffered in this crisis. I hope that he may be a friend to you. When I wish that, I wish you prosperity, for just so long he will be your friend.
2 My plan, I hope, will be free from risk, for I have kept the matter a secret, and, as I think, I shall not be watched very keenly. Only let the voyage be as good as I want, and all precautions that foresight can suggest will be taken. While I am here, please write not only anything you know or hear, but even what you foresee.
3 Cato, who could have held Sicily without any trouble - and, if he had held it, all good men would have flocked to him - sailed from Syracuse on the 23rd of April, as Curio has informed me by letter. I only hope Cotta may hold Sardinia, as they say, for there is a rumour to that effect. If that happens, what a reflection of Cato!
4 To lessen suspicion of my journey and intentions I started for my place at Pompeii on the 12th of May to stay there while the necessary provisions were made for my voyage. When I arrived, I was told the centurions of the three cohorts here wished to visit me the next day. That was what my friend Ninnius said - that they wished to hand over themselves and the town to me. But I left the next morning before daybreak, so that they should not see me at all: for what was the use of three cohorts, or more indeed? And what was our equipment? I pondered too over the matter of Caelius when I read it in your letter, which I received on the same day as I arrived at Cumae. It was possible too that it was a mere ruse, so I did away with all grounds of suspicion. 5 But, while I was on my way back, Hortensius came, and turned out of his way to greet Terentia, and he had spoken of me with much courtesy. I think I shall see him soon, for he has sent a servant to announce his coming. This is better behaviour than that of my fellow augur Antony, who carries an actress in a sedan among his lictors.
6 As you have lost your quartan fever and have not only thrown off your new malady but also your cold, you must present yourself before me sound and fit in Greece. Meanwhile drop me a line.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
On the 14th of May Hortensius came to me, just as I had written my letter. I wish his conduct were always as it is now. ** You would never believe how gushing he was, and I intend to take advantage of it. Then Serapion came with a letter from you. Before I opened it, I told him that you had written to me about him before, as you had done. Then when I had read the letter, I told him the rest in full detail, and upon my word I like the man; for I think him to be learned and upright. Moreover I think I will use his ship and make him my fellow-passenger.
2 Inflammation of the eyes often breaks out again, not indeed very troublesome, but enough to prevent my writing. That your health has recovered from your old complaint and your new attacks I am glad.
3 I wish I had Ocella here: for it looks as if things are going to be rather easier. Just now the equinox is delaying me. It has been very boisterous. When that is over, I only hope Hortensius may keep to the same mind. So far he could not be more generous.
4 You wonder about the passport I mentioned, ** as if I hinted you were guilty of some crime. You say you can't discover how it came into my mind. For my part since you wrote that you meditated leaving, and I had heard that a passport was indispensable, I decided you must have one: and also because you had taken out a passport for the boys. That was the reason for my opinion, but please write and tell me what you intend, and especially if there is any news.
May 16.
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
My daughter was confined on the 19th of May: a boy, a seven months' child. ** I am glad she had a safe delivery. As for the thing that has been born, it is a very poor specimen. So far I have been detained by an astonishing calm, which has been a greater hindrance than the watch kept on me. For all that gush of Hortensius proved child's talk. So it will be found. The villain has been corrupted by Salvius his freeman. Accordingly hereafter I shall write to you, not what I intend to do but what I have done. For every eavesdropper ** seems to be listening to what I say.
2 However if you have any news about Spain or any other topic, please write, but do not count on a letter from me, till I have reached the desired haven; or possibly I may write something on the voyage. But even this much I write in fear. How sluggishly and draggingly everything has gone! The foundation was badly laid and the rest is of a piece.
Just now I am going to Formiae; perhaps there too the Furies will follow me. However according to Balbus' conversation with you my idea of going to Malta does not win approval. Can you doubt then that Caesar regards me as an enemy? To be sure I have written to Balbus telling him that you had informed me of his kindness and his suspicion. 3 I thanked him for his kindness: as regards the suspicion, clear me. Is there a more unlucky man living? I won't say more for fear of hurting you too. I am tortured by the thought that the time has come when I can no longer act either with boldness or discretion.
1. Homer, Iliad XXII, 304.
2. Cf. letter ix, 12.
3. Ser. Sulpicius Rufus.
4. Cf. letter ix, 18.
5. The official residence of Caesar as Pontifex maximus.
6. The passage must have been in the lost parts of De Republica.
7. Young Quintus seems to have used his mother as an excuse for taking off to Rome.
8. L. Metellus had tried to stop Caesar from removing the state treasure, planting himself in front of the door of the Treasury.
9. Six lictors were the regular number for the propraetor of Sicily; but their staves would not be laurelled as Curio had not won a victory over a public enemy. If appointed a legatus to Caesar he might have had proconsular powers and twelve lictors.
10. The Oppii were moneylenders, and, if the reading 'unum' is right, Cicero must mean that lack of obtaining ready money was the only danger in Rome.
11. Cf. the answer of the Delphic oracle to a Spartan envoy in Herodotus I, 66, "Thou askest for Arcadia. 'Tis much thou askest for. I will not give it."
12. Possibly a reference to Terence Adelphi 44.
13. Probably Republic VIII, 562.
14. Thucydides i, 138.
15. P. Scipio Africanus the younger was found dead in his bed, and was supposed to have been murdered at Carbo's instigation.
16. Cf. Ad Fam. XVI, 11, where he states that the Senate gave a general commission to all magistrates and ex-consuls, "ne quid respublica detrimenti caperet."
17. i.e. my decision to let you be neutral. It may, however, mean "Your conviction of my friendship."
18. Lit. scytale. Spartan dispatches were wound round a staff in such a way that they could not be read when taken off it. Here, however, Cicero only refers to their brevity.
19. Probably a quotation from Pindar.
20. They had shut their gates to Caesar and were being besieged.
21. Homer, Iliad xviii, 112, "But what is past though grieved we will let be."
22. Cf. letter x, 5.
23. Plutarch and Pliny state that after Pharsalia Antony had a chariot drawn by lions: but from this passage it appears that the story was current earlier.
24. Banished under Pompey's law de ambitu in 52 B.C.
25. As peace delegate.
26. The son of Axius.
27. Or "I wish he would always confine himself to writing." But the passage may be corrupt.
28. Cf. letter x, 13.3.
29. No more is heard of this child.
30. The people of Corycus in Pamphylia spied on merchant vessels and betrayed them to pirates. Hence their name became a proverbial term for spies and eavesdroppers.
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